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- The Weeknd reportedly unfollowed Selena Gomez on Instagram following their split.
- This comes weeks after she apparently did the same to him.
- This may seem petty, but experts told INSIDER this can be an important step in healing after a breakup.
No one loves to see their ex after a breakup, but it’s kind of tough to avoid when they’re an uber-famous actress and singer like Selena Gomez. Still, it seems like The Weeknd is guarding his heart and limiting his exposure to his famous ex after their reported split.
The singer, whose real name is Abel Tesfaye, apparently unfollowed Gomez on Instagram and deleted all four photos that he had of her on his account, according to Cosmopolitan. This may seem like he’s the one creating distance and drama, but he’s really just following Gomez’s lead: she unfollowed him more than a week ago but left the photos of them up.
This may seem a little petty, but purging your ex from your social media accounts can actually be an important and monumental step towards healing after a breakup in the 21st century.
INSIDER spoke to two experts who explained why The Weeknd and Gomez made the right move.
Seeing them can cause unnecessary pain.
Instagram bombards you with photos of people — some you don’t know that well — living their best life, creating some serious FOMO. Seeing these photos from an ex, however, can actually set you back in your healing process.
“If you’re constantly tempted to check up on your ex and find yourself getting jealous, sad, or lonely seeing his or her posts and updates, it’s probably time to utilize the block button for your own mental health,” Jonathan and David Bennett, co-founders of the site The Popular Man, told INSIDER.
Keeping them in your feed can tempt you to contact them with a seemingly harmless “like” or comment. Having photo of you two show up in your “memories” can cause you to think about them. For all these reasons, it may be best to give them the boot both in the form of an “unfollow” and a photo delete.
There are ways to do it without them knowing.
If you and your ex are still on good terms, blocking them or deleting them can seem unnecessarily harsh. But don’t let that be the reason why you grin and bear seeing them on your feed. Jonathan and David recommend “soft-blocking” them, aka using the mute and unfollow functions on Twitter and Facebook respectively.
This can also ensure that you’re doing this to give yourself closure: not to get back at them.
“Blocking can be a bad idea when it’s used as a tool to get back at the ex,” Jonathan and David told INSIDER. “Blocking an ex to make sure the ex sees it and gets upset just shows you aren’t truly ready to move on.”
It can be empowering.
If the break up was especially rough or the person won’t respect your boundaries, blocking them sends a message that you are done and need your space.
“If the breakup was particularly painful or the person is toxic, the act of blocking can be empowering,” Jonathan and David told INSIDER. “Clicking the block button is a powerful symbol that you’re moving on and not looking back.”
Ultimately you have to figure out what is right for you and your social media habits: if you still want to poke (does poking still exist?) your ex, feel free to do so. Just be sure keeping them around isn’t keeping you stuck in the past.
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